Lately the news has been chock-full of heartening, exciting, empowering stories about ass-kicking womyn who are never, ever violent.
For starters: Have you ever wanted your life-sucking infant to SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Well this hot mama found a great way to do it… use chili powder until the infant croaks by the sheerest of accidents!
Yeah, I’ll have to remember that one for future. And the so-called ‘death’ was all men’s fault anyway.
After all, it was fucking men who delivered the chili powder to the womyn’s supermarket in the first place, putting the blame squarely on their shoulders. What were those careless bastards thinking?
Over in Jordan, an ass-kicking vagina-warrior was foiled by the Patriarchy from her attempt to express her Grrrl-Power with a liberating (and fashionable!) explosive-filled vest.
As you might expect, the sexism of the situation is well-captured by this quote:
“The woman is a beast,” said Tarek Khourma…
Oh yeah? Why the FUCK can’t men handle strong womyn?
Yeah, she’s a ‘beast’ all right– a firey, femi-beast bold enough to kick a little Patriarchal butt! Hah! If the world had a few more womyn like this so-called ‘beast’, then violence would become a thing of the past.
And from my home state o’ Texas, we have this awe-inspiring tale:
Bloody hand prints on the side of his taxi marked Richard Allen Cullum’s fight to pull himself back into his vehicle as he was dragged to death in east Midland early Thursday. Police say a female passenger forced the man partially out of the vehicle before gaining control of the cab and hauling his body for up to a mile.
You go, GRRL! Show that bastard who’s boss!
But it wasn’t a clean victory: the trail of blood and guts stretched for hundreds of feet. Typical fucking male! dirtying-up a perfectly good road with his entrails! Blech!
Finally, and most mirthful of all, a dear sweet lil’ teen-age grrl held-down a 15-year old oppressor scumbag so that he could be ass-reamed by a raging pit-bull.
Haha, oh you silly chick. You crack me up! Rape is just oh-so-hilarious and entertaining when it happens to the right kind of people– the ones with penises, that is.
Swiftly, the Patriarchy punished this little hellraising sister by giving her a slap on the wrist– a punishment far too severe, in my opinion. Especially when you consider the gleeful exuberance which resulted from what she did.
As is typical whenever a womyn acts-up, you get some male whiners throwing-in their two cents. Some of the letters which were written about that news story were truly pathetic:
“…we have a system that refuses to hold female psychopathy to the same standard to which it holds male psychopathy.”
WAHH! WAHH! BOO HOO FUCKING HOO! Maybe I’ll pay attention to that comment as soon as the author GROWS A VAGINA and starts suffering the indignity of monthly cramps. As if we need some fucking male crybaby to point-out what some would call obvious… even though I certainly never will call it that.
Oh, and next week, I’ll probably find time to write a post about how the rape of womyn ought to be punished by firing-squad because it’s never a laughing matter. The sick act of sexual assault on any womyn must always be punished for the horrifying infamy that it is. I can’t fathom the vile inhumanity ofanyone who would ever downplay the horror of sexual assault…
(Giggle! I still can’t get that hilarious image out of my head. A vicious dog anally-penetrating a squrming boy- Hahahaha! Oh, my sides are hurting!)