Another Loathsome Product of the Patriarchy

The vile Patriarchy– that sadistic social force which oppresses all womyn– has done it again: they’ve approved a vaccine which could prevent nearly all instances of cervical cancer.

As every feminist knows, our society does not value female life and wimmin’s needs are always ignored. Therefore a medical advance like this one could not have come into existence.

Injecting us with this vaccine requires us to be jabbed with needles several times; this amounts to violence against our precious bodies. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Merck’s senior director of clinical vaccine research who oversaw the product development is named Dr. Eliav Barr– which makes him a FUCKING MAN!

(Initiate the righteous ridicule!)

Why didn’t he help to invent a vaccine to stop rape?? Does he think this advance in womyn’s health gets him off the hook? He’s got a long way to go before he works-off the debt he owes us because he’s part of the problem!

How can this precious vaccine– and almost every other vaccine and lifesaving technology out there– have sprung from the mind of a testosterone-addled, womyn-killing oppressor?

The only reasonable explanation is that Dr. Barr stole this liquid from a selfless wommyn inventor who was denied her moment of public glory. After all, it is womyn who are superior at life-giving and healing while men create only death, destruction and misery. Grr! When I find this Dr. Barr, I’ll tape bloody tampons to his face.

Anyway, we feminists believe that the biological sciences are highly suspect. All of that talk about viral “invasions” and “defenses” underscores the warlike white male prism through which the human body is viewed. And consider all of the time they waste on testing, testing, testing. All of those rules of empiricism and the mathematically-based analysis which follows. In a laboratory there is scarcely any talk about feelings, consciousness-raising or paradigm-shifting. No wonder there are so few feminist vaccinologists!

The heavily gendered distortions of modern biology, in conjunction with its methodological fetishism, often passes unnoticed or ignored. Biology needs to be exposed for what it really is: a male chauvinist pig of a discipline, suffering from severe monomania and small-dick insecurity issues. A proper feminist perspective on biology would be more inclusive and stem from our unique social experiences because our oppression gives us a special insight into the nature of reality.

Indeed, I would have to say that we feminists are far more gifted at finding male bias within a given discipline than actually coming-up with alternative ways of dealing with the subject. And that’s okay because creating a feminist “critique” of a branch of scientific study is intellectually equivalent to re-inventing the branch from scratch. And it is fair to say that a feminist is a person who wants to see more female careers in the hard sciences– but they must be the careers of other females and never herself.

So as part of our never-ending Stoic Opposition To Dominant Sexual Zeitgeists, I’m recommending that we gyrrlcott this vaccine and every other medical advance that has been developed by useless men during their 10,000 years of oppression.

This includes sterilization, antibiotics, anaesthetics, ambulances, defibrillators, public sanitation, x-rays, vitamin supplements, syringes, MRI scanners, blood-banks, heart & lung machines, Pap-smears, birth control and almost every other medical idea dating back to Hippocrates.

If we ever fall ill, we will use radium. Lots and lots of radium. Whatever that is.

That ought to teach the Patriarchy a lesson!