Love Those Non-Violent Womyn…

This morning I was musing (once again) about how we womyn are never violent and are never responsible for any form of domestic violence. Even though we are no different from men, we simply don’t get those nasty male impulses to hurt others.

Wonderfully, the integrity of my sense of moral superiority was not at all injured by these news items from the last few days:

This feisty heroine assaulted her husband with boiling oil while he slept.

Police believe Edna May Sanders turned on the stove Friday in her Diamondhead home and heated about two quarts of household cooking oil, waited until the grease reached a simmer and her husband was in a sound sleep and then poured it on him, covering his head, face, chest and arms.

“When we got there he was in bad shape; his entire hand, the skin came off, and it looked like a glove,” Fayard said.

That, my systyrs, was not merely one of the most horrible assaults you can ever imagine. It was 350-degree justice!

I cannot blame this poor, oppressed creature for lashing-out at her class-enemy because it was done in self-defense. That sleeping man was about to imminently attack her. That’s why she had enough time to heat-up the oil.

I can only imagine that she chose her weapon as a way of expressing her frustration at being forced to cook meals. And if she gets apprehended, I imagine that she will claim that she was abused and therefore had no option but to dump super-hot liquid all over her husband. That’s right, no other option.

Alas, the male had the last laugh in this story. In his final act of aggression, the crispy-skinned bastard inconsiderately up and died a few days later.

I swear, men will do anything to avoid learning their lessons!

Also of great interest is a trial which opened for a fearless coochie-warrior who drowned her quadriplegic ex-husband in a bathtub.

Why didn’t he help out with the housework more often, huh? Lazy jerk-off.

Again, we can all agree that this was legitimate self-defense. The paralyzed man was poised to attack. He’d craftily spent whole decades plotting and scheming. He was biding his time, leading his ex-wife into a false sense of security, waiting for the right occasion to strike.

Las Vegas prosecutors claim that an angry and embittered Guzman intentionally drowned Mark Richards over his decision to end their six-year relationship.

As anyone will agree, that is a perfectly legitimate provocation. If you need more proof, just listen to the voice of the real victim:

“He was mean and very demanding,” Guzman told detectives. “I was just doing everything for him, you know, and basically he would treat me like crap.”

Normally, we feminists descend like a pack of wild animals whenever victim-blaming takes place. But we don’t really feel the need to get so worked-up about it in this instance because everyone knows that womyn are never violent and our penis-bearing oppressors are less-than-human anyway. There is therefore no limit on the amount of damage that we should be allowed to inflict on those bastards.

Hey if these two womyn are guilty of anything, they’re guilty of excessive innocence!