Why Aren’t There More Part-Time Senior Management Positions?

This article in the BBC is a few days old, but it’s a fabulous analysis of why there aren’t more wimmin working in high-tech fields. And, as usual, guess who’s to blame for it?

You guessed it. Men are to blame. Much in the same way that they always are. Because if there’s one thing that heterosexual male techies absolutely loathe, it’s having females around.

And it’s true that for decades male techies were fringe-dwelling nerds who played around in their labs with geeky boy-toys and us wimmin laughed at them for being icky and gross. And now that the field has become hip, trendy and lucrative it’s an absolute crime that there aren’t more womin Linux-coders and database administrators.

Sure, I don’t really understand what goes-on in this industry exactly. And sure, my knowledge of workplace dynamics in general is only so-so. And maybe I don’t particularly care how companies work either. But I do know instinctively that womyn are gorgeously stoic victims of oppression wherever they go and that the singular source of all evil has a penis.

I absolutely agree with every single point in this poignant and succinct article. In fact, I’d like to add some of my expert commentary:

Women are ‘put off’ hi-tech jobs.

Women still feel there is an exclusionary “old boys” network.

It’s very good that this article focuses so much on how womyn “feel”. I’ve long thought that womin’s feelings should be the standard of measurement for everything. “Empiricism” is just a fancy way of saying “patriarchal wankery”.

It concluded there should be more equality and support in the workplace.

And this can be achieved mainly through non-stop adulation of everything that every female employee does. In the background of every office, there ought to be an infinite-loop tape which plays: “You’re super-cool, grrlfriend! You’re awesome! You’re, like, a super-riffic goddess-diva who is equally good at Perl scripting! For sure!” Over and over, every day. Because the patriarchy broadcasts the exact same message to men via telepathy.

The report said women left the industry because of long hours, few networking opportunities and a perceived male-domination of hi-tech industry culture.

Wymin left the industry because they didn’t want to work long hours, they disliked the impersonal nature of the field and men are to blame for it.

Those male fiends!

Is there any form of wickedness that they won’t stoop to?

The research also pointed to the lack of opportunities for part-time workers, particularly for women seeking more senior positions.

Why aren’t there more part-time senior management positions, huh? Why can’t a womyn work her way up to be a Chief Operations Officer while working under 20 hours a week, huh? It ain’t fair!

Damn you, patriarchy!

Part-time work was also identified as having a poor image within the industry. Those who work part-time said they were not given the same responsibilities or opportunities as full-time colleagues.

It’s motiveless discrimination! Diabolical!

Many women questioned reported that they would be more inclined to stay if there was less pressure to work long hours in a full-time role.

I am outraged that a womyn should have to work as many hours as a man in order to get the same kind of ranking as a man! What is this world coming to?

Us wimmin demand the money and the status that comes with working full-time, but how dare we be expected to actually work full-time for it!

For the all-important sake of statistically-equal outcomes, wimmin ought to enter high-tech jobs in larger numbers. And if any of them don’t care for that kind of work, then they must be forced into it whether they like it or not. Whether they have ability or not. Whether an employer has any need for them or not. Good thing I won’t be among them; my talent and wisdom is desperately needed elsewhere.

Folks, I am simply too overwhelmed by rage to comment on the rest of this article. Needless to say, we wymun deserve equal treatment which is why we deserve special treatment. In fact, we need lots and lots of special treatment in order to get a minimal level of equal treatment!

Why is that so hard to understand?