Thanksgiving Dinner Hits Women The Hardest

If my righteous ass-kicking grrrlfriends manage to find a few minutes in which they can stop being relentlessly oppressed, I’d like to wish them all a Happy Thanksgiving.

But the Penisocracy never takes a holiday, does it?

Today is a great opportunity to shout belittling insults at your fathers, brothers, grandfathers and male cousins to teach them a lesson they won’t soon forget. Serves them goddamned right. But if any of them are gay, they ought to be exempted from your ire.

You should also show condescending levels of pity towards your mothers, who were forced at gunpoint to cook meals against their gorgeously beaten-down wills.