Global Warming Hits Women The Hardest

Yes, yet ANOTHER problem that us wymynists can blame entirely on our penisbearing oppressors.

And what a relief to see this! I was running-out of new things to be furious at men about this week.

“Women and men are differently affected by climate change and they contribute differently to climate change,” said Ulrike Rohr, director of the German-based group called “Genanet-Focal point gender, Environment, Sustainability.”

Rohr, who is demanding “climate gender justice,” left no doubt as to which gender she believes was the chief culprit in emitting greenhouse gasses.

Are you really surprised, my systyrs? Of course not.

One of the best things about being a feminist is that we always know exactly who to blame.

I’m sure Ms. Rohr can also explain why wimmin are hardest-hit by the hole in the Ozone layer. The fault of that is men’s as well.

Us feminists also insist the same is true for oil spills, volcanic eruptions, polio, bad breath and pretty much anything else that can ever annoy you. But I digress from the boundless wisdom of Ms. Rohr…

“At least in the developing countries, it is women who are more affected because they are more vulnerable, so they don’t have access to money to go outside the country or go somewhere else to earn money and they have to care for their families,” she said.

And because we are so fragile and helpless, womyn can’t swim as well as men can. When the ice-caps melt, we will be reduced to the level of near-chattel as we cling perilously to bits of floating wreckage. Men will laugh down at us from their luxury yachts, plucking us from the briny drink only when they want to rape us! Hasn’t anyone seen Waterworld?

Systyrs, you should all be terrified by this dark, wet future.

How can men be the ones at fault for such an enormous environmental problem? Well, they’re probably the ones who discovered fire. They also built combustion engines, jet engines, electrical plants and any sort of technology that uses fuel or chops-down forests. And none of those things have ever been used by womyn.

I don’t even know how to change the oil in my SUV! How can I possibly bear any responsibility for global warming?

The solution is quite logical: From this day forward, only men should be subject to greenhouse-gas restrictions. Us wimyn shouldn’t ever have our behavior regulated, we can be as wasteful as we like.

It must be done for the sake of equality, naturally!