Today is V-day! No- not that digusting celebration of stupid lame-ass “love”. (PUKE! PUKE!)
The V-day that I celebrate is all about “Violence”!
Not just any old violence. THE Violence!
You’ll notice that us V-day backers always phrase it as “The Violence” because violence against womyn is The only form of violence on the planet that really matters.
But when we talk about “violence against womyn”, we’re not referring to womyn who’ve had violence inflicted upon them by other womyn. Like this baby girl who had her arms chopped-off by her mom. Or this 8 year old girl (and 2 useless brothers) who were smothered to death by their mom. Or this baby girl who was suffocated by her mom. Or this autistic girl who was given a shotgun blast by her mom. Or these girls who were repeatedly beaten and cut by their mom. Or this foster-daughter whose mother blinded her by jabbing a syringe into her eyes. Or this womyn who has been accused of stabbing her 60-year old mother to death. No, those don’t count as “The Violence” because there are no fucking MEN involved and those acts are therefore useless for feminist purposes.
“The Violence” doesn’t include acts like racist female postal workers who go nuts and randomly gun-down co-workers of both sexes. That kind of violence is useless for feminist purposes because a womyn did it and womyn were not necessarily the sole victims of it.
“The Violence” certainly doesn’t include the acts of former Rwandan Minister for Womyn Pauline Nyiramasuhuko, either:
Yes, she may be complicit in helping the the Interahamwe militia murder and sexually-assault large numbers of Rwandan refugees during the 1994 genocide– but that violence doesn’t matter to us feminists because the perpetrator has a vagina. And based on her official position, Pauline must have been doing the right thing anyway. Same goes for Rwandan nuns like Consolata Mukangango and Julienne Mukabutera. Helping to massacre over 7,600 people at a convent in Butare, including throwing gasoline on a building in which hundreds of people were seeking shelter, did nothing to contribute to “The Violence” as we feminists define it.
Closer to home, even though government statistics show that the number of girls ages 10 to 17 who have been arrested for aggravated assault has doubled over the past 20 years, violence by womyn is never part of “The Violence” because it doesn’t help us throw guilt and blame onto men.
In fact, I kind of welcome womyn getting violent. These brave chicks now challenge the boyz’ in the hood by being the kind of super-cool, switchblade-wielding liberated females who are unafraid to fly into out-of-control raging fits! WOO-HOO!! Sort of like this former topless dancer who finally realized who the real enemies are and reacted the way any sane feminist would– by mailing bombs to tv stations and nudie bars while blaming the Patriarchy.
So what counts as “The Violence”? A story like this one: a seemingly willing womyn has sex on-camera and later accuses her sex partners of raping her even though the video directly contradicts her claims.
She also laughed at least 27 times during the sex, moaned intensely when she wasn’t laughing and cheered the men to sexual heroics with, “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”
“I just like sex,” Moonier said at one point on the tape. “I can’t help it.”
I suggest you read the whole thing to understand just how brainwashed this poor womyn was. She even told her attackers how to attack her and complimented them on the size of their rape-tools while they did it. Truly, a more victimized womyn cannot be found.
Anyway to increase public awareness about the useful categories of Violence, on my campus we’re designating a special time at 7 PM tonight when all the ass-kicking chick-warriors will gather into the quad and inflate a 50-foot plastic vagina. We shall then gather around it in a vagina-shaped human chain and chant “CUNT! CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!” until we faint from exhaustion.
But V-Day isn’t all fun and games, my systyrs: there are fucking MEN out there who selfishly want to steal the public spotlight all for themselves.
I’m referring to the unfunny bastards who came-up with Testaclese the Penis-Warrior!
How dare they make public displays involving parts of the male anatomy! How disgusting and offensive can you get?!
My sisters, we must TAKE BACK Valentine’s Day! We must return this celebration to its original and proper feminist intention: increasing public awareness of how only men are evil!