Why Aren’t There More Part-Time Senior Management Positions?

This article in the BBC is a few days old, but it’s a fabulous analysis of why there aren’t more wimmin working in high-tech fields. And, as usual, guess who’s to blame for it?

You guessed it. Men are to blame. Much in the same way that they always are. Because if there’s one thing that heterosexual male techies absolutely loathe, it’s having females around.

And it’s true that for decades male techies were fringe-dwelling nerds who played around in their labs with geeky boy-toys and us wimmin laughed at them for being icky and gross. And now that the field has become hip, trendy and lucrative it’s an absolute crime that there aren’t more womin Linux-coders and database administrators.

Sure, I don’t really understand what goes-on in this industry exactly. And sure, my knowledge of workplace dynamics in general is only so-so. And maybe I don’t particularly care how companies work either. But I do know instinctively that womyn are gorgeously stoic victims of oppression wherever they go and that the singular source of all evil has a penis.

I absolutely agree with every single point in this poignant and succinct article. In fact, I’d like to add some of my expert commentary:

Women are ‘put off’ hi-tech jobs.

Women still feel there is an exclusionary “old boys” network.

It’s very good that this article focuses so much on how womyn “feel”. I’ve long thought that womin’s feelings should be the standard of measurement for everything. “Empiricism” is just a fancy way of saying “patriarchal wankery”.

It concluded there should be more equality and support in the workplace.

And this can be achieved mainly through non-stop adulation of everything that every female employee does. In the background of every office, there ought to be an infinite-loop tape which plays: “You’re super-cool, grrlfriend! You’re awesome! You’re, like, a super-riffic goddess-diva who is equally good at Perl scripting! For sure!” Over and over, every day. Because the patriarchy broadcasts the exact same message to men via telepathy.

The report said women left the industry because of long hours, few networking opportunities and a perceived male-domination of hi-tech industry culture.

Wymin left the industry because they didn’t want to work long hours, they disliked the impersonal nature of the field and men are to blame for it.

Those male fiends!

Is there any form of wickedness that they won’t stoop to?

The research also pointed to the lack of opportunities for part-time workers, particularly for women seeking more senior positions.

Why aren’t there more part-time senior management positions, huh? Why can’t a womyn work her way up to be a Chief Operations Officer while working under 20 hours a week, huh? It ain’t fair!

Damn you, patriarchy!

Part-time work was also identified as having a poor image within the industry. Those who work part-time said they were not given the same responsibilities or opportunities as full-time colleagues.

It’s motiveless discrimination! Diabolical!

Many women questioned reported that they would be more inclined to stay if there was less pressure to work long hours in a full-time role.

I am outraged that a womyn should have to work as many hours as a man in order to get the same kind of ranking as a man! What is this world coming to?

Us wimmin demand the money and the status that comes with working full-time, but how dare we be expected to actually work full-time for it!

For the all-important sake of statistically-equal outcomes, wimmin ought to enter high-tech jobs in larger numbers. And if any of them don’t care for that kind of work, then they must be forced into it whether they like it or not. Whether they have ability or not. Whether an employer has any need for them or not. Good thing I won’t be among them; my talent and wisdom is desperately needed elsewhere.

Folks, I am simply too overwhelmed by rage to comment on the rest of this article. Needless to say, we wymun deserve equal treatment which is why we deserve special treatment. In fact, we need lots and lots of special treatment in order to get a minimal level of equal treatment!

Why is that so hard to understand?

WE Are Never Hypocrites. Only THEY Are.

Want to know what pisses me off the most about fucking men? They are so inured by their sexism that they don’t even notice how sexist they are.

Now, I occasionally need to reassure my readers for the sake of appearances: I have nothing against men. I just think they’re just a bunch of oppressive, violent, mentally-inadequate, homophobic, reactionary, racist, lunkheaded, rapist-wannabes with blocks of concrete for brains. And they always sling nasty stereotypes without ever listening to their own words.

They aren’t even aware of all the privileges that are conferred onto them because they were born male and they refuse to admit having any privileges. This is completely the opposite of us wimyn: we can’t admit to having any privileges because we just don’t have any.

For example, last week I was waiting to be served at a coffee shop. After being allowed by all the male morons waiting in line to skip-by them up to the counter (which is my birthright), some man I’d never met remarked that I looked as if I was having a bad day. The jerk then offered to pay for my coffee and even had the temerity to ask me for my phone number while my drink was being poured. I immediately balled-up a fist and threatened to box him on the lip.

Did he really imagine that I, a liberated womyn, would ever be inclined to give him, a mere penis-haver, my precious phone number? Does he think I am obligated to treat him with a shred of respect just because I claim to be his equal?

To make a long story short: the phallocrat was irritatingly unaware of his male privileges and that is why I demanded that he pay for my coffee immediately. After he did so, I told him to get out of my face or else I’d whip-up some fake tears of distress and trick some nearby man into beating the hell out of him.

How cowardly and manipulative his behavior was! How shameful and pathetic.

I tell you, sisters: so many men are completely ignorant of all the unfair behavior that they take for granted on a daily basis.

I guess enjoying too many privileges can make you hypocritical and stupid. Good thing I’m not like that.

It’s Sexist Giving Hurricanes Women’s Names

I am really just stewing over something that has been bothering me for nearly a month.

Have any of you members of the sisterhood noticed that the patriarchy controlled weather service tends to name the biggest and worst hurricanes after women?!

First, we had Katrina and then Rita. Why did they name both of the storms after women? Well, I think it is sexist. Especially so considering the fact that hurricanes hit women the hardest.

In fact, just the name “her-i-cane” is upsetting. These storms should be called “himmicanes,” reflecting the violence they commit against women.

In the future, these himmicanes should be named only after men. Men are violent and abuse women and so do himmicanes.

Airlines Down-Under Adopt Sane Feminist Logic

It’s always inspiring whenever feminist-style thinking makes an impact in the corporate world.

Air New Zealand and Quantas ban men from sitting next to children on flights.

And rightly too! If given the chance, every man is a potential child-molester or sex-offender. No woman ever is. Men can’t be trusted around innocent and delicate children much in the same way that they can’t be trusted around innocent and delicate womyn. A presumption of guilt is a prudent way of playing it safe.

Auckland man Mark Worsley says an air steward approached him after take-off on the Christchurch to Auckland flight and told him to change seats with a women sitting two rows in front. The steward said it was the airline’s policy that only women were allowed to sit next to unaccompanied children.

“At the time I was so gobsmacked that I moved. I was so embarrassed and just stewed on it for the entire flight.”

Why did they let him go forward, huh? That sends the wrong kind of message. In an equal world, men should be made to move to the back of the damned bus where they can’t bother anybody.

Green MP Keith Locke said today he would be writing to the Human Rights Commission asking it to intervene in what he felt was a clear breach of the Human Rights Act.

The airline needed to recognise that “men are people too”.

“It is prejudicial to presume that men can’t be trusted to have contact with children unless they are related to them or are specially trained,” Locke said.

The nerve of these thin-skinned men! All of this offense-taking is truly a pathetic spectacle. The idea behind the airlines’ policy is not prejudicial because it reflects feminist logic perfectly:

When the Herald asked her if the airline considered male passengers to be dangerous to children, Ms Paul replied: “That’s not what I said.”

See? Male passengers are not a danger to children so it is absolutely vital that men be kept-away from children.

The act of separation means that there is no need to do it. “Separate but equal” makes a really great policy guideline. I wonder where I’ve heard that before?

Anyway, there’s more. So-called “experts” were quick to comment:

A leading psychologist has dismissed as “offensive” and “insane” a policy adopted by Qantas and Air New Zealand’s not to seat men next to unaccompanied children.

As it turns-out, this “psychologist” is actually a fucking MAN, so he’s an ally of child-molestation. But the laughable sniveling which follows is worth a chuckle:

Latta said the policy was sending an “awful” message to society that “all men are pariahs”.

What’s so awful about that message? My fellow vagina-warriors say it all the time.

Latta also suspected the airlines’ policy would contravene human rights legislation against discriminating on the basis of gender.

Wahh! Wahhh! Look at the crybaby.

What you call ‘discrimination’ is what us feminists call ‘advancing the cause of women and children’. It figures that a mere man couldn’t make that distinction.

WTF??? Women not smart???

So I saw an offensive article in a scientific journal today. I only skimmed the article because I had to be somewhere, but I think the headline speaks for itself:

“WOMEN NOT SMARTER THAN MEN.”

See, apparently some (male, duh) scientists did some study of IQ’s or whatever the fuck they study and found that the average intelligence of women is not higher than the average intelligence of men.

Hell no.

This is a blatant insult to everything that we as feminsts, nay, as humyn beings stand for. Women are not smarter than men? What a Neanderthal point of view! Just when I think our society is progressing beyond such chauvinistic points of view, some MAN comes up with a “study” like this.

Hey, asshole: Women are JUST AS SMART AS men, you stupid moron.

Not that I’m saying women are stupid morons. I’m just saying women are just as smart as men and that this man is a stupid moron.

Besides, hello? Who the fuck do these assholes think they are, saying women aren’t smart? If women are so stupid, how come I can’t think of a witty retort for the end of this sentence? Huh, fuckwad?

The point is, as feminists, we believe in EQUALITY. And this suggestion that women are not smarter than men is like spit in the face. I suggest that we, as women, all protest by getting math or science degrees and becoming engineers or inventors. I’m not going to because I personally suck at math and science and have no desire to be an engineer or inventor, but I could if I wanted to because I’m a smart and strong woman.

I mean, no I couldn’t, because there are all kinds of sexist barriers preventing women from becoming mathematicians, scientists, or engineers. But if those barriers weren’t there, I’d be one of those things so fast.

I mean, I wouldn’t, because I don’t want to be. But I totally COULD, so there.

Vital Feminist Issue: Lack of Female Cartoon Characters

Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly be any more victimized: According to a University of Southern California study, womyn are underrepresented in animated films.

Truly, this is something that deserves to be blown-out of proportion!

The study finds that female roles are rare in children’s movies, including Nemo, the 2003 mega-hit, and last year’s Madagascar, among others… For every speaking female character, the study finds, there are three male characters.

Men always have the upper hand– even in Toon-Town! Damn you, patriarchy!! DAMN YOUUUUUU!!!!!

In order for there to be equality in the cartoon universe, female cartoon characters must represent 50% of all those portrayed– at least 50%, I mean.

And if female characters ever do become 50% of animated characters, then us feminists would start complaining that there is too much cartoon violence directed against them.

Not only that, the female characters should never be the butt of any jokes because that would send “the wrong message” and damage girls’ oh-so-fragile self-esteem.

So in other words: we must increase the frequency of women in these cartoons, but we can’t show any of them being unintelligent or cowardly or anything less than completely Amazonian.

In fact, there is absolutely no shortage of complaints that us feminists can cook-up when it comes to womyn in the media.

Does a certain female character look attractive? She’s being objectified!

Does she not look attractive? They won’t let womyn express their sexuality!

Does she have a weakness? They’re portraing womyn as feeble!

Is she abrasive and obnoxious? They can’t handle strong womyn!

And so on ad infinitum.

If us feminists had our way, a proper children’s movie would consist of a dreary sociology lecture spiced-up with comedy routines that involve the crushing of testicles.

But at any rate, I find cartoons to be highly offensive and damaging to the well-being of womyn in general.

For instance, the wicked mustache-twirling Snidely Whiplash is a role-model that all males secretly aspire to emulate:

LittleNell

The only logical result of this imagery is having thousands of poor womyn being tied to railway tracks every year. Why does society not care about the plight of innocent damsels in distress?

And in that same vein, the following popular character is a vicious stalker and sexual predator:

pepe01

In a society that truly respected wimmin, the vile Pepe Le Pew series would be banned as hate speech. But the 1949 short “For Scent-imental Reasons” even won an Oscar! Can you believe it? GRRR!

My systyrs, we must take action!

The Kid Should’ve Laid-Back and Enjoyed It

Another case of misidentifying the real victim:

A 37-year-old [female] day care worker was arrested for allegedly raping and sexually abusing a four-year-old boy, police say.

We all know that womyn, saintly creatures that we are, would NEVER rape or sexually abuse anyone. But if there was sexual misconduct, then there’s only one reasonable explanation: the 4-year old asked for it.

Sources tell us in what amounts to a bizarre confession that the suspect is actually accusing the four-year-old boy of seducing her. But police are not buying that explanation as they investigate several instances of rape and sexual abuse inside the day care center over a six-week period.

See? And womyn never lie about rape or sexual abuse, especially when they’re the ones accused of doing it. The victim is to blame in this case.

In fact, I’ll bet he raped her! The drooling bastard.

And what about this double-standard about molestation of children? I mean, if a 37-year-old man had sex with a 4 year old girl, would he be considered a sicko? Of course he wouldn’t! The Patriarchy would probably give him a slap on the wrist and there would be no outrage at all. Right?

Oh, but when a womyn pedophile has sex with an underage boy, society really ought to compassionately understand the circumstances which compelled her do it. She was only filling an emotional void in her life and the 4 year old was being way too coquettish.

No, I don’t think you’ll be hearing much anger among us feminists about this particular instance of victim-blaming. A victim with a penis is no victim at all because equality is the overriding principle which guides feminists at all times, donchaknow.

They WON’T Save a Bunch of Money on Car Insurance

I’m so angry, I’m ripping-out handfuls of my own hair!

Check-out this news from the UK: Insurer warns of rising premiums for women motorists.

Women motorists may see their premiums for car insurance sky rocket by as much as £500 a year under a new European directive… Under the proposed EU Gender Equality Directive, insurers will no longer be allowed to adjust premiums on insurance policies based on the gender of the driver in question.

What, British women will get equal treatment?!?! This is an outrage! OUTRAGE!

According to Direct Line, young female motorists are in line to be the worst affected, with premiums for women aged between 17 and 24 set to increase by an average of £1,293.60 to around £1,800 in order to reflect the increased risk of insuring their male counterparts.

How dare they ever consider charging us the same amount as a man is charged for the same insurance! Especially since we are victimized so much when it comes to driving.

For starters, we womyn have never been allowed to drive. Not ever.

Even today, we aren’t allowed to own cars.

In fact, I had to take my driving test three times before I passed– an obvious sign of discrimination.

Worse yet: when I drove to my hairdresser on Saturday, I had to put 50 cents in the parking meter for an hour, but the man who parked in front of meonly put in 25 cents. What does that tell you, systyrs?

And finally, when I saw the pricing at the hair salon I coudn’t help noticing that men’s haircuts were $12 cheaper than a womyn’s haircut. When I asked why I can’t pay the cheaper (male) price, they replied with some bullshit about womyn’s hairstyles being “more elaborate” and “more time-consuming” and “more effort-intensive”. She even said “it would be like charging Velveeta prices for brie.” GRRR! Naturally, I stormed-away in a huff.

It’s a complete disgrace that a womyn should be charged an amount that is different from what a man is charged.

And for auto insurance, it’s a disgrace that a womyn should be charged the same!

Dammit, I need a drink. Thank Goddess tonight is Ladies’ Night at the Red Lion Tavern downtown.

Our Right to Vote is About to Be Repealed!

I have no proof of this.

But I do have proof of one thing: you can’t trust the Patriarchy.

I had a terrible dream last night. An omyn of things to come…

We finally elected a female President. And when she went to the UN, she was raped by the other male heads of state! Right there on the floor of the Economic and Social Council Chamber. On live TV.

This could actually happen one day!

Eternal vigilance, my systyrs. We can’t let our guard down- not even for one second.

Female “Perpetrators” Are Real Victims/Male “Victims” Are To Blame

Interesting news: A new study suggests that the majority of sexual offenses in the U.S. prison system is committed by female workers.

Roughly half of all sexual impropriety reported in U.S. prisons and jails last year was perpetrated by correctional staff, not inmates.

Female staff were the offenders in two-thirds of the prison cases, and two-thirds of the victims of prison staff were male inmates, according to the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics.

Even though I love the thought of a handcuffed male inmate being repeatedly ass-raped by a wom*n’s righteous truncheon just as much as any other feminist does (Hah!), the article depicts (yet another) patriarchal conspiracy. A conspiracy to rob womyn of the pleasure that comes with zipless-fuckingan excitingly tattooed convict on the wet concrete floor of the prison laundry:

….While there is an element of supposed romance noted in many of the cases, sexual relations of any kind between prison employees and inmates are considered nonconsensual by law because of the inherent power that staff have over prisoners. In Virginia it is a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

See? The patriarchy will go any length to exert control over our pussies! I refuse to be punished for having sex! I fucks whoever I wants, so keep your goddamned “laws” offa mah bah-deh!!

If were to get a job in a Virginia prison and it struck my fancy to suck-off a gorgeously muscled hottie named “Bonecrusher” through the little door I slip his food through, I’ll run the risk of being sent to prison. And in prison, I won’t be safe from staff who subject me to their sexual advances. Do you see how unfair that is!? It’s a vicious cycle where men enjoy all the advantages at every stage!

And before any people out there get on my back about how I “missed the point” of the article, you should see that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation that female prison staff appear to be less-than wholly perfect. The “victims” are actually to blame and the “perpetrators” are the real victims:

Smith said it is not surprising that a larger number of female staff in prisons are involved in sex offenses. Male inmates outnumber female inmates more than 10-to-1… assuming most staff and most inmates are heterosexual, you would expect to find more female staff reported as perpetrators and more male inmates as victims, she said.

“You will often find that the culture that allows this kind of stuff to happen is also a culture that is particularly inhospitable to female staff,”

All righty then! It’s the fault of the so-called “victims” because they are so numerous. Since we all agree that any silly excuse will do if it’ll help a womyn escape being held to account, this one is fine with me.

And not only that, the prison climate is “inhospitable” to female staff– maybe even exposing them to (horror of horrors) sexual harassment! Why, the female prison staff is even more uncomfortable than whoever actually happens to be living there. Womyn are the real victims once again!

(Sigh!) Why do I still get outraged at this point, systyrs? It seems like a waste of perfectly good bile.