Yes, YOU TOO Can Be A Victim-Vamp!

The fall semester has recently started and it’s time to start thinking about getting to the new, impressionable Freshwomyn who are looking to declare majors as the year progresses. To arouse interest in my department, I’ve created this lovely flier:

WS

I thought of another possible caption: “If you’re not in Women’s Studies, then go get some kneepads and mouthwash cuz you’re fellating the Patriarchy!!”

My like-minded sisters ought to print-out this image in mass quantities and post them around campus, concentrating on the literature, sociology and art departments. Don’t bother placing them in buildings that house the so-called “hard sciences” because few, if any, Women’s Studies majors possess a passing interest or elementary knowledge about stuff like physics, biology or logic.

(PS- And contrary to what some wag suggested to me, the “WS” on the above t-shirt does not stand for “Wonder-Skank.” Jerk.)

Couldn’t Say It Better Myself

I enjoyed this letter to the New York Times written in response to a recent stupid cover article about idiotic non-feminist women who refused to eschew their personal choices for an all-important 50/50 (or better) gender parity.

The last line of this letter brought a tear to my eye. The logic within it is so pure as to damage the brain:

Just because women cannot “have it all” does not mean that we should stop demanding it.

You go grrrl! Never stop having that cake and eating it too, just like the feminist “Emily” in this article:

…Emily feels that whoever does the asking, male or female, should be entirely prepared to pay for the date … she’s just too much of a wimp to ever do the asking.

Still, Emily does argue that there are times when even if the girl asks for the date, the guy should still pay for dinner.

In the fashion of a truly empowered grrl, Emily demands equality until she has to pay for something or risk romantic rejection or do something else that she doesn’t feel like doing. That’s when she rediscovers her love for old-fashioned traditions such as female passivity and having someone else do all the heavy lifting for you.

Isn’t feminism a fantastic buffet? You can pick and choose when you want equal treatment while loading-up on chivalrous junkets and freebies.

Us womyn need our options– but especially sweet are the options that allow us to change the rules back and forth whenever it benefits us. As long as you’re “aware” that you’re a dishonest scam-artist, then it’s perfectly okay. Feminism is all about “CHOICE”!

…Such as having a choice to not have equality whenever you don’t want to have it.

Brilliant Femi-Logic

As I have pointed-out before, one of the fabulous things about being a feminist is that you are free to contradict yourself every five minutes without ever noticing your own words. Lopsided reasoning is all-important to us because intellectual consistency is a sure indicator of an unenlightened mind.

Case in point: the blogger who writes The Girl Gets Away. Her femi-logic is so advanced and pure that it hurts so-called “normal people” to even approach her level of mental keeness.

Jenna, who is a hugely intelligent braniac by the high standards of feminist bloggers, posts the following musings on the controversial book Women Who Make the World Worse by Kate O’Beirne. Being a feminist (and clairvoyant to boot), she is therefore expertly qualified to judge a book which she refuses to read:

Kate O’Beirne’s provocatively-titled anti-feminist screed by that title is getting rave reviews from people who think all women make the world worse…

As we see here, jenna concludes that the people who see some fair statements in Kate O’Beirne’s book only do so because they think that all women make the world worse, not just the ones mentioned in the book. This point is so obvious that it requires absolutely no evidence to support it whatsoever: someone who thinks differently from us feminists is probably a complete bigot. This is because criticism of a group of women is actually an affront to ALL women and is therefore misogynistic.

Oh, but wait! By this same logic, doesn’t jenna’s criticism of Kate O’Beirne’s female fans amount to an attack on ALL women everywhere? Or if we feminists sneer that female critics of feminism are dimwitted and weak-minded tools of the Patriarchy, are we guilty of making misogynistic generalizations ourselves?

Fortunately, no!

Because only a feminist is allowed to decide what misogyny is and who is guilty of it (see The Sweet Pink Rules of Feminism). And any criticism of feminism, however well-reasoned or well-researched it may be, is an especially vulgar expression of misogyny. And wonderfully, this principle has the convenient result of protecting our friends and slandering anyone who thinks beyond the confines of our beloved cult of perpetually-wounded victimhood.

Generally, we feminists react more angrily to female critics of feminism than we do to male critics. By default we assume that critics of feminism must be male; we become livid whenever this assumption turns-out to be wrong. Men, being mentally inferior bastards, can be easily dismissed. We never listen to men because their opinions are worthless and annoying to us. But a womyn’s opinions matter much more. If a woman dares to notice that our ideology is often self-serving and hypocritical, that is when we react by going absolutely bananas. And no, such a reaction is not indicative of our sexism at all because only men can be sexist.

But moving right along, there is even more wisdom for jenna to impart on the rest of us:

The title, combined with the relatively slim size of the book tells you something about the sexist society [sic]. There are not many women prominent enough for O’Beirne to cite… Women have a much more difficult time making the world worse, because women often lack the access to nuclear weapons that men take for granted.

Such words are true in so many ways that only a feminist could have come up with them. Instead of being an openly preposterous overgeneralization from the blog of a smug ignoramus, it reveals the sublime beauty of how we feminists think.

Thanks to jenna’s laserlike penetration into human nature, she has discovered that “men”- all men, apparently- take for granted that they have access to nuclear weapons. I never would have imagined that my uncle had a pile of B-61s stashed behind his woodshed. How interesting that he never mentioned it whenever us oppressed womynfolk were around. The Patriarchy’s capacity for secret-keeping is truly infinite. One must also remember that A-bombs hit women the hardest and are used to exclusively victimize us.

Furthermore, no womyn has ever been in a position to authorize the use of nuclear weapons. Just ask Indira Gandhi who oversaw India’s first nuclear test or Margaret Thatcher, whose administration participated in at least 13 nuclear tests.

But there’s even more brilliant thinking in evidence. Later in the same post, without a trace of irony, jenna expresses irritation about hasty sex-based generalizations. As long as they are made about our precious sex, that is:

That’s the problem with people who say all women are a certain way. Not all of them are, honey.

So while making generalizations about women is completely inappropriate, jenna’s own ditzy generalizations about men are always perfectly appropriate. Every woman is different but men are all the same.

Men ought to be judged collectively, but women ought to be treated as individuals.

Women are equal to men in every way, except we are morally superior to men in every way.

How bigoted are miscreants who think that women make the world worse. How non-bigoted are feminists who think that men make the world worse.

And men, as a group, absolutely make the world worse. Women are so weak, honeylike and pure that we have never inflicted pain on anybody. And if women have ever inflicted pain on anyone then it doesn’t really matter! We can always change the subject to the usual feminist passtime of blaming men for everything. Thank Goddess we never tire of that game.

Finally, I wish to point-out that one of the major points in O’Beirne’s book is that many feminists frequently act in an intellectually dishonest fashion.

It’s a good thing that jenna doesn’t perfectly illustrate that thesis, eh?

Plus ça Change, Plus C’est la Même Chose…

I was recently going-over Notes from the First Year of New York Radical Women (1968)

Within, we can enjoy some of the sadder relics of the 1960s blasting-away at full force: the primacy of emotion over reason and lots of righteous indignation mixed with a strong desire to shoot the Pigs. It also includes crude, harebrained assumptions which largely rely on the same kind of sexist stereotypes that we feminists claim to abhor: we wimmin are innocent because of our helpless passivity while men are all-capable and therefore guilty of every crime in the Milky Way.

But what’s especially striking about these notes is how little feminist writing has evolved over the past 35-odd years. It’s literally timeless! Why, you can go to any feminist web page in 2006 and see much of the same stuff reprinted everywhere ad nauseam. As always, elementary logic and facts are inconvenient to our cause which is why we eschew them as Patriarchal cocksuckery. It’s almost as if we’re in a wonderful multi-decade intellectual cul-de-sac. A super-awesome feminist cul-de-sac from which we do not wish to free our minds. Most happily of all, what was once regarded as radical nonsense in the 60s is now what forms the main currents of our movement.

Note how the pamphlet’s price is meant to facetiously bring attention to the wage gap:

RadicalWomen

Ahh, the helpful inability of us feminists to grasp basic economic principles has continued unabated for all these years. We are determined to believe that profit-seeking operations would prefer to hire people whose labor is more expensive for no reason other than their sex, profits be damned. Companies that cheerfully outsource major chunks of their own operations to save a buck are nonetheless so thrilled at the prospect of hiring a man, they’ll pay perhaps a $20,000 bonus for him to do a job that’s only worth $30,000 when a female does it. That’s totally plausible. True, a company dumb enough to attempt such a moronic pay-scheme would probably lose business to the price advantage of its non-discriminatory competitors very quickly. But it’s a good thing that we feminists prefer not to think about our own arguments deeply enough to take them to the next logical step.

Anyway, the rhetoric of these documents is the perfect proof that womyn have hardly made any progress at all in the last 35 years. Yes, we have accomplished so very much, except we are just as pitiably oppressed as we’ve always been. We’ve made lots of progress, except we’ve hardly made any progress. The more progress we make, the angrier we get at our lack of progress. Isn’t that great? And tragic?

But of all the lines within these pages, especially cogent is this one from the section charmingly called Women of the World Unite, We Have Nothing To Lose But Our Men!:

10,000 yeomen die each year from abortions

Yes, you read that correctly: 10,000 yeomen. Shocking, isn’t it?

When will the nobles finally understand that the lower gentry desperately need reproductive rights??

Go Forth And Abuse Amazon.com’s Rating System!

OMFG!

A new book has recently come-out: The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex and Feminism.

PI Guide Feminism

It must be destroyed at once!

True, I haven’t actually read it. Plus, I vow never to do so. What I will do is make fraudulent posts among the Amazon.com reviews as my way of killing any chance I’ll have to deal with challenges to the rigid, dogmatic theories that my vacuous personality is based-upon.

This really isn’t an unusual stance for a feminist to take at all. We usually think it’s perfectly fine to use fraud to stop people from reading what they want if there’s some remote danger they could reach conclusions that don’t agree with feminist ideology.

For instance, when it came to the book Women Who Make the World Worse by Kate O’Beirne, we feminists summoned a delightful campaign of lies and prevarications against it.

Exhibit A: here’s one feminist blogger who loves to clean-up politics “by speaking truth”

Go on over there. Get yourself an Amazon account if you don’t have one and write yourself a review of Ms. O’Beirne’s book. You can sign your review with an Amazon ‘pen name’ if you don’t want to be spammed with conservative hate-dreck. The goal is to ensure that Ms. O’Beirne’s book has a one star rating so no one will go out and buy it who would not have already done so.

You see, the author loves truth so very much that she’s asking people to give negative reviews to a book that they haven’t read. You can’t get any more truthful than that.

Exhibit B: this ass-kicking fellow femi-shrieker offers hearty congratulations to everyone who exploited Amazon.com’s good faith:

First of all I want to thank everyone who aided in the sacking of Kate O’Beirne’s book Women Who Make the World Worse over at Amazon. The overall book review is at 1.5 stars

She also points-out that those who point-out the duplicity of this “sacking” are a bunch of racist crybabies. Probably.

Anyway, among O’Beirne’s claims in her book is that today’s feminists are often “dishonest in their advocacy”. Well golly, I guess she’s totally in the wrong in that case: It’s not as if these attempts to slander the book on Amazon.com have totally substaniated her point. Score another victory for honest feminism!

And as for the The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex and Feminism: instead of bothering to respond the facts, quotes and arguments that the author Carrie Lukas uses to make her points, we must instead try to prevent anyone from looking at it at all. Whatever it takes, we must not allow improper thoughts to germinate in other people’s minds!

In the olden days, we probably would’ve held a mass book-burning. But since that’s gone-out of style, I urge all of you to go to Amazon.com and do whatever you can to ensure that this book gets a one-star rating and plenty of mendacious comments!

Allegiance to feminism is far more important than allegiance to mere “integrity”.

Happy Maternal-Oppression Day!

Today is the most important of all holidays!

Today is the day that we feminists simultaneously exalt and pity our mothers in a (hopefully) mutually-reinforced ritual of sorrow and righteous anger.

I pity my mother so much. Last year at this time, I remember how we stood in the kitchen and had a little disagreement. She pretended to be horrified when I gave her sage advice to secretly poison the oppressor who calls himself my “Dad”.

“What’s wrong with you?” she snapped, clearly too brainwashed to see the merit of my idea. “Ever since we sent you away to the most distant college we could afford, you’ve gotten weirder and weirder.” She clucked her tongue and shook her head with obviously-feigned exasperation.

Despite a façade which would convince any non-feminist, I could see through her fog of denial that she secretly wanted me to go-ahead with the idea. If only she wasn’t too oppressed to do it herself.

“Of course you think I’m wierd, mom!” I protested, stomping my tiny feet and jutting-out my lower lip. “You don’t know how enslaved you are in this comfortably well-appointed suburban house which you are free to leave at any time. But mark my words– ONE DAY you will smack-up against the edifice of Patriarchy and realize how right that I am. It’s all there in my Gender Ed 101 textbook. In the meantime, just let me dump a few brands of drain cleaner into dad’s Bloody Mary and cover-up the taste with tabasco…”

She sent me to my room after that. I swear, she doesn’t know what’s best for her. There are signs of hope bubbling under the surface nonetheless: I once heard her mutter that she wished she’d had an abortion when she was pregnant with me. At heart she is a womyn like myself.

But I’m not giving up. I know I shall convert her one day…

Duke U. Womyn’s Lacrosse Team = Mindless Stepford Wives

If this doesn’t turn your stomach, my systyrs, then nothing will:

Duke’s Womyn’s Lacrosse Players Support The Men’s Team!

Brainwashed traitors!

Yes, the women’s lacrosse team of Duke is planning on wearing sweatbands saying “innocent” in their upcoming game against Northwestern!!!

Just look at this picture and tell me what you see:

Dukewomen

Do you see a group of independent-thinking college womyn who know how to stand-up for what they believe in?

NO!! You see disgustingly WEAK and MINDLESS fools who collude in their own oppression while silencing noble exotic dancers of color!!

These unthinking idiots are so deeply manipulated by Patriarchy that they don’t comprehend the extent to which white, middle-class college-womyn are victimized in 21st century America. The Patriarchy has duped them all into standing in solidarity with the vilest creatures in the whole universe: whiteaccused rapists!!

Why don’t they just go get themselves some kneepads and mouthwash if they’re going to suck-off the Patriarchy’s phallus like that? GRRRRR!!!

What this indicates is that the female lacrosse players at Duke U feel that the accused rapists have characters decent enough to suggest that they likely did not do what they are suspected of doing. But we feminists duly understand that those Duke accused rapists are completely and utterly guilty of everything!

They’re guilty despite the complete lack of DNA evidence against them. They’re guilty despite the fact that the District Attorney badly wants to use this case as a platform for his own re-election campaign and has arguably engaged in witness intimidation in a mad scramble to shore-up his shaky case. And they’re especially guilty despite the fact that the accuser’s story has changed over time and can barely stand-up to scrutiny or in-depth thought. Ignore all of that because all you need to know is womyn never make false rape accusations. So there.

And if a womyn would ever do such a thing, then falsely accusing men of rape is a great way of raising their awareness about how womyn never make false accusations.

Indeed, if we feminists had our way this whole “due process” bullshit would be completely discarded for these kinds of situations. In fact, the doctrine of “presumed innocent” has been pretty much discarded already. As it ought to be.

No evidence should be necessary beyond a womyn’s word alone.

In fact, a womyn should be allowed to make rape accusations anonymously.

Against anyone she likes.

Through the mail.

And the envelope shouldn’t even need a stamp, dammit!

The Duke lacrosse team is 100% GUILTY due to their loathsome penis-owning. And even if they didn’t actually rape anyone, they could have raped someone and that is sufficient grounds for them to be shot in the head to make other potential rapists think twice in future.

In protest, we feminists should wear sweatbands emblazoned with “Kill Those Nazi Rapists!” as a way of precisely counteracting the ones which say “Innocent”.

Just to leave no stone unturned, we should also demand that every penisbearer at Duke be strung-up by his vicious genitals so that every womyn can feel safe and secure that she will not be attacked as she asserts her Goddess-given right to remove her clothes for moderately-sized wads of cash wherever and whenever she wants to.

I Have Evolved Beyond Your Primitive Cosmetics

As a young feminist who prefers Patriarchy-blaming to linear thought, I have found that one of the many ways in which my feminist journey has liberated me is that I can now leave the house without any make-up whatsoever. This may sound ridiculous, but trust me, it genuinely does feel liberating. My friend texts me, asks me if I want to go to the pub for Ladies’ Night, and I’m off within 30 seconds, I don’t even look in the mirror, doesn’t matter how haggardly and unpresentable I happen to be.

In fact, being haggard and unkempt is something I take pride in. Because I haven’t just spent 10 minutes doing, or redoing, my make-up, I don’t then go out thinking about what I look like and then continue to worry about what I look like while I’m at the pub, unable to really relax. I go out thinking “Yay, friend, ecstasy and lots of cut-price gin!” and I forget about what I look like, I don’t worry about my image, I just have a good time.

Now, I don’t mean to say that I read somewhere that feminists don’t wear make-up and decided that now I’m a feminist I have to follow the rules, no. Rather, feminism has given me confidence in myself as a person and as a womyn, mainly because it’s given me a ready-made personality so that I don’t have to spend any time developing a personality of my own. Feminism has given me confidence based on who I am, not what I look like, feminity based on me enjoying being a womyn, not on the length of my eyelashes or the shinyness of my lips. I like make-up, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fun to give yourself a different image each time you go out, I like playing dress up and showing my titties, what’s wrong with that? I just no longer view make-up and titty-showing as an essential part of my life, my identity or my value as a person. Just something I do when I want Mardi-Gras beads.

At its most basic form, wearing make-up is nothing less than collusion with the Patriarchy. Womyn who put on make-up are doing so because the Patriarchy has put an invisible bayonet to the back of their heads and forces them to layer it on. True, most womyn can’t even see these bayonets or feel their pointiness, but they’re there nonetheless. In our Patriarchal system of oppression we feminists think that it’s completely impossible for any womyn to make a choice freely and the only choice you can freely make is to slavishly and unquestioningly do everything that feminist ideology tells you to do.

Within this context, rejecting the repressive values of a primitive Patriarchy for the “you’re nothing without surgery and spike heels” dogma of western Patriarchy may seem liberating because wearing a coat of lipstick is exactly as oppressive and exacting as wearing a full-body burqa in the deserts of Baluchistan.

And this kind of change has been almost revolutionary for me, someone who used to prefer being late for lectures than leave the house without make-up. And I’m someone who used to slather it on with a trowel due to a serious acne problem that I had a few years back. Today, I can just pop out of the house whenever I want, it doesn’t matter what I look like. No one actually cares what I look like, no one really notices whether or not I’ve got make-up on, and no one treats me any differently because I don’t have make-up on. Men – shock horror – still find me attractive and I still delight in butch-slapping their oppressive faces whenever they look at me the wrong way with their raping eyes. (I especially love how they won’t hit me back, which really is sort of uncharacteristic of how oppressors ought to behave…)

Weirdly, it matters to me less whether men find me attractive or not. In fact, looking as unattractive as possible to those fuckin’ penile-dementia-having oppressors is the whole point of everything I do nowadays. For I struggle with male judgements and presumed ownership of my body at every turn: Whether it’s the Jesus Freaks reducing me to my endlessly-fertile womb or the pimps reducing me to my endlessly-lucrative cunt, Female Oppression is Patriarchy’s chief sustenance and its oxygen. Patriarchy to Womyn: “Suck My Dick! MUWAHAHAHA!!!!”

Because I haven’t made a conscious effort to try and make myself attractive, I haven’t started my day by reaffirming my status as eye candy. Most importantly, I no longer feel that sense of vulnerabilty that comes with being ‘unmasked’ in public; I just feel like me.

And I love it.

This rule-breaking bitch has evolved beyond all eye-liners and mascaras! Take THAT, you oppressors!

“I’m Not A Hate-Filled Wacko, But…”

If you haven’t done so, I suggest you visit the rage-a-holic blog I’m Not A Feminist, But… The title perfectly sums-up the frustrating sentiment that we feminists often sense from the everyday non-feminist ladies around us.

Although many wimmyn out there agree with what we feminists claim to have as our goals, many of these same people treat us as if we’re a bunch of female sexists who habitually blame men for everything and condescend to those who live outside our closed-minded clique of yes-yessing groupthinkers. I can’t imagine how a non-feminist woman could ever acquire such a ludicrous idea.

I guess most women are extremely stupid.

Yeah, that’s it. They are too stupid to know what’s best for them and they resent our superior feminist intellect.

Anyway, the feisty ass-kicker Laura who runs the aforementioned site made a most remarkable post about hate.

Hate is a base and destructive emotion that she herself does not feel towards men, but she emphasizes over and over that it’s perfectly reasonable if she ever did hate men. Which she clearly doesn’t, despite everything which suggests the exact opposite:

So I woke up in a bad mood today. And I lay in bed and thought about hate (yeah, I’m in a pretty bad mood). Do you know what’s really, really not funny about hate? That, apparently, feminists all hate men, and yet all the evidence points to the opposite: men hate feminists. Not only that; men hate women. Men hate me.

So, you see, ALL men hate ALL women. This in of itself is not a hateful accusation to make, especially since it’s an indiscriminatory broad-brushed smear. And she’s quite comfortable making such a statement. I guess that suggests exactly how hate-addled she isn’t.

There is, in fact, no evidence that any feminist hates men or has ever hated men. No matter how many contemptuous, poisonous and malicious generalizations a feminist might ever make about every man who has ever lived since the beginning of time– it’s not man-hating. Nor is it even tacky. Laura herself is completely untainted by gender-based demagoguery because… she is a feminist.

Only a man’s feeble brain is capable of unprincipled malevolence. In contrast, we feminsts only hate others for decent, high-minded and progressive reasons. We hate the hate that ALL men and ONLY men are ever capable of.

Hate can be a very dangerous thing indeed. It can cloud one’s judgment, devour one’s soul and distort one’s views. It can easily lead to dehumanizing stereotypes and wild accusations sort of like the ones you see all over her non-man-hating blog:

1. Men hate me when they rape. I am lucky enough not to have been raped (yet), but I still feel that hate. I feel it when I read that 60,000 women a year are raped in the UK alone. I feel it when I know that, all around the world, women are being raped right this minute, right this second. I feel it because I know that we are not being raped by crazy psychopaths lying in wait in a dark alley as the media would have as believe, but by normal, ordinary, everyday men, by husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, friends, fathers, brothers, bosses, partners, ex partners, soldiers, policemen, the list goes on…

Indeed. The average man will rape you some day. She is not saying that ALL men are rapists because that would be crazy. She’s just saying thatnormal, ordinary, everyday men are rapists and are no different from crazy psychopaths.

Conveniently, such a thing is not hate if a feminist says it. Sure, it might seem creepy and sick and hateful if a non-feminist were to say such a thing, butnot when a feminist says it.

For the sake of argument, if she were to say that she sees the average black man as a potentially cruel attacker of whom you should be deathly afraid, then that would definitely be hate.

If she were to say that the average Mexican man is a scary, lust-filled thug with no self-control, that would certainly be hate. No question about it.

To say the exact same thing about ALL men in general is absolutely NOT hate at all. Nope. It’s a solemn statement of fact!

Whether you’re a genocidal man like Hitler or a man who talks with his mouth full, you’re BOTH equally evil. We feminists don’t hate you for it, though. But it’d be perfectly reasonable if we ever decided to start hating you because you so richly deserve it. Every last one of you!

Getting back to Laura’s list of why she ought to hate men:

2. Men hate me when they use porn…

3. Men hate me when they type ‘rape virgens’ into google, or ‘cut breasts fuck’, or ‘three men brutally rape woman’…

4. Men hate me when they harrass women in clubs, on the streets, in the park, in bars, on the beach, at the bus stop…

5. Men hate me when they buy lads mags and calculate how much their girlfriend costs per fuck…

6. Men hate me when they ask their girlfriends to get a boob job to spice up their sex life…

7. Men hate me when they make malicious, sexist jokes…

8. Men hate me when they question women’s right to equal pay…

It seems that hate-based acts can constitute an almost-unlimited range of things! But through it all, Laura doesn’t stoop to hating men.

Her gracious refusal to descend as low as men speaks very well of her moral character. And if she ever changed her mind and started hating men tomorrow then it wouldn’t seem like a very long bridge for her to cross, would it? It probably wouldn’t look much different from what she says right now, in fact.

But anyway, although this raving farrago of uncharitable accusations looks suspiciously like something from a bigot-in-denial who desperately wishes to rationalize the contents of her black little heart, Laura doesn’t feel any antipathy towards the shittier sex at all:

11. Men hate me when they pay money to control women in a strip club.

Fortunately, the strippers themselves don’t contribute to hatred against Laura; they’re completely off the hook.

When a woman applies for work at a strip club, she has no choice in the matter at all. None. Zero. Her signature on the work-contract means absolutely zilch. She was forced.

Forced by invisible brainwashing laser-beams from outer space. I guess that’s how the Patriarchy manages to “control women in a strip club.” And this mind-control is what prevents women from teaching math at Harvard, designing microchips and running for President. Because those are exactly what most exotic dancers would be doing if strip clubs didn’t exist.

The last item on her laundry list widens the net of male assholery even further, implicating an ever-growing gang of criminals:

14. Men hate me when they attempt to justify/ deny /defend any of the above.

Surely, the men who deny being bastards are the worst bastards of all!

If you’re a man who denies hating women then it can only mean YOU HATE WOMEN! Laura’s femi-logic is as sound as it always is. Men are guilty until proven innocent and they’re still guilty thereafter. Men’s denials of guilt are tacit admissions of their guilt because men are liars, every last one of ‘em.

After she laboriously compiles all this stuff, Laura starts to think she doth protested too little. That’s why she felt the need to clarify exactly what it means to not hate men:

EDIT: Just to clarify, when I say I don’t hate men, I don’t mean that I don’t hate rapists and abusers – of course I do – I mean rather that I do not hate men as a genaralized category of people…

…Which is why she obessively conflates “rapists and abusers” with “men” in general. As if all men are criminals in her mind. As if all men need to be punished for the act of any one man.

Yes, according to Laura’s wonderfully stunted feminist brain, “Men” are a unified hive-minded entity not unlike The Borg!

TheBorg

One adjunct of The Patri-Borg-archy is just as guilty as every other adjunct! The bastards.

Except, um, there’s no Borg Queen. And there’s no Seven of Nine, either. Just… er… MEN ARE EVIL, okay? And we feminists don’t hate men even though hatred would precisely explain everything we say about men. Let’s just leave it at that.

In the comments below this post, not one person disagreed with Laura’s insightful entry.

Always the astute psychoanalyst, Biting Beaver remarked:

Many men are capable of great amounts of projection. Always fearful that we hate them, why? Because they hate us and of course, we MUST hate them.

Yup, paranoid projection can be really nasty. Surely, no feminist ever has projections which cause her to conclude that most men– and never herself– are the ones who project? In the days before she took psychology, Biting Beaver would’ve just said: “I am rubber, you are glue, it bounces-off me and sticks to you.”

Since she is never one to protest too much, Biting Beaver’s profile belies its hilarious castration imagery and reveals that she isn’t a man-hater, contrary to very convincing appearances which could easily fool anyone:

No, I don’t hate men, I hate The Patriarchy.

If a man with a Blogger nickname of, say, “PainfulRapeCock” were to say on his profile “No, I don’t hate women, I hate Matriarchies”, we feminists would presumably consider it a good-humored jest. Never would we regard such an individual as being a deranged hater of women because we feminists just love to apply equal standards.

Later, the commenter FallingStar opines:

…I don’t *hate* men either but obviously I hate the ones that are capable of hurting women…

She hates only the “capable” men, such as the ones with two arms and two legs. I guess there are a few amputees she could get along with famously. And some of the quadriplegics out there might be okay. Maybe.

Returning to Laura’s first line in her post, I simply can not figure-out why anybody would ever accuse a feminist of man-hating. Even though hating men is totally and 100% justified, we would never do such a thing. That would be so… male.

Give Me None Of Your Patriarchal “Sanity”!

All throughout last week I was enjoying past issues of feminista!, the grandly-named “Journal of Feminist Construction”.

Just a quick look-through will prove beyond a doubt that feminist journals always maintain the highest standards of quality writing.

At the very least, you certainly won’t get the impression that a significant number of the contributing authors call themselves feminists to distract people from how intellectually-stunted they are.

The cover-art is a lovely depiction of a young womyn in the process of becoming wicked high and/or possessed by the feminista spirit:

FeministaCover “Ahh, that’s good dogma!”

And one of the finest examples of this genre is A Call for Young Women To Get Mad!

Its author, Delaie Woodlock of Australia, has the middling English and awkward diction to prove she is a vagina warrior of extreme pissed-offedness. One who takes no shit from no one!

Not from men. Not from society. And certainly not from the team of psychologists who have irritated her so much throughout life.

What is most inspiring about Ms. Woodlock is that she is not afraid to question the very concept of sanity itself:

When we discover the reality, that merely believing you are free doesn’t make it happen or mean it is true, of course we get even more depressed, unresponsive and suicidal. Then to add to our pain we are told our brains are what are making us mad. We have faulty biology, broken brains, and out of control emotions. Our madness is solved simply with a mind-altering drug and we are not only turned into emotionless robots but also cash cows for pharmaceutical companies. Pathologised. Psychiatrized. Duped.

For those of you who have an unruly, mad woman mind like I do, I urge you to question the mental illness industry. For years I was bounced around by shrinks who either blamed me, my brain, or my mum for my fears. I have been drugged and gone through the terrible withdrawals. I still suffer from bouts of agoraphobia and while patriarchy is in power, I probably always will. But I refuse to let them silence me. I will not be blamed any longer. I can’t live in a constant state of happiness as long as women, animals, and the earth continue to be raped and murdered. Know that it is okay to get in dark, wild moods, to lock yourself away sometimes, and to be scared. If you can, try to reject any form of drugs (some call them chemical lobotomies). I know that some women’s pain is so overwhelming that it needs to be soothed by drugs, and that just makes me madder. Question the malestream mind-fuckers and find an alternative feminist therapist if you need to.

YES! At last, someone has the ovaries to say “malestream mind-fuckers” without a trace of irony!

My fellow so-called “psychotic” womyn of oppression, I ask that you join me in bashing the useless, male-dominated myntal illness industry.

For years, I was subjected to wrongheaded shrinks who were negligent in not recognizing that PATRIARCHY was the root of my problems. It has been a classic case of misdiagnosis. These bastards even went so far as to blame my mom, with no mention of my pigheaded father who was never around to abuse me.

I’m living proof that so-called “psychologists” are a collection of frauds! Not to mention theRAPISTS. It should be clear that the patriarchy is the downfall of womyn everywhere. But be advised: my voice WILL be heard!!!! I will not stand idly by while men exist, er, that is, while men continue to harbor so much control over my precious myntal health. Those bastards are hiding in my air-ducts, like the bugs that crawl out of the shower at night sometimes to mock me.

So-called “doctors” told me to take pill after pill, yet nothing changed in the world around me. Why didn’t they make everybody else take a pill, huh? The fuckers!

In fact, I was sometimes physically tied-down and forced to take pills by vile heteronormative fascist womb-butchers!

By all means, consult with womyn mind-healers only. Only a womyn could possibly have the intelligence and competence to properly handle a womyn’s myntal health. Not that there’s any difference between the brains of men and women, mind you. Except that the male brain is pitiful and limited, while the female brain is not. And no different from it.

Someday, when we achieve a proper utopia of ekwalitee, I’ll feel better. But until that day, I can only suffer in silence without complaining because I refuse to complain about anything.

Dont listen to anyone who claims to be from an asylum or the police. They are secretly in league with the saucer-people who scheme to pump poison gas into your house through the toaster!

And don’t let anyone tell you that you’re a raving crackpot who badly needs so-called “professional help”!