Well, ladies, it appears we have a parody site. I accidentally typed www.feministing.com instead of .org, and happened upon a true abomination of a website. I read through much of the website before I realized it was a parody. And that’s not proof of how stupid the real website is, so don’t think that.
Now, you know me. As a feminist, I’d be the first to laugh my ass of at a good joke about feminism. We, as feminists, need to be criticized and held accountable for our wrongdoings, and to be satirized to ensure that our movement is not corrupted by extremists and opportunists. Which is why I was thrilled at first to discover we had a parody site. I mean, nobody likes a good joke about feminism more than I do, except perhaps my brother and some of his friends.
Oh yes, and Captain Johnson.
Come to think of it, most people like a good joke about feminism more than I do, but that’s beside the point. The point is, I expected to be thorougly entertained and amused by this website, but much to my surprise, I found that the writing was not in any way witty, funny, or insightful. There is just nothing good I can say about it whatsoever. It’s stupid and it sucks. Plus it isn’t funny. I mean, really, you’d think they could come up with something better than “The so-called ‘Domestic Violence Victims Empowerment Act.’” It’s just bad writing with no good qualities at all.
And I’m not just saying that because they’re making fun of me.
But you know, as Ghandi said:
1. First they ignore you.
2. Then they laugh at you.
3. Then they fight you.
4. Then you win!
And hey, if Ghandi said it, that’s good enough for me. Now I know that whenever somebody thinks what I’m doing is silly, or stupid, or immoral that in fact I am right and they’re just going through the four stages of Ghandi. You know, kind of in the same way that the only reason a person would ever dislike you is because they’re jealous of you. (It’s true, I read that somewhere!) I’d say those MRA’s have already reached Stage 3!!! Our fight against sexism is succeeding!
Wait, if we’re fighting sexism, then does that mean WE’RE at Stage 3? And that the next step is that sexism is going to win? Hmm…
Anyway, I don’t know what these stupid MRA’s are complaining about. It has been conclusively proven that feminism, being pure and good, is completely immune to parody. There’s just nothing funny about it. Some people have suggested that this is because feminists have no sense of humor. Well, that’s not fucking funny.
Besides, feminists DO have a sense of humor. At F.U.C.K.Y.O.U. headquarters we have a poster in the hallway with a picture of an empowered-looking woman on it. The caption is this: “Where does a BITCH sleep? Anywhere she wants to!” It’s funny AND empowering! So don’t go saying we feminists can’t laugh at ourselves.
Anyway, since it’s inconceivable that it’s our opinions themselves these men dislike, the only possible explanation is that they don’t like it when women express their opinions in general. They’re just disagreeing with whatever we say because they don’t like women. And since we, being feminists, voice the unanimous opinion of the entire female population of the planet (except for the brainwashed ones who disagree with us), that means that they just don’t like hearing what women have to say. They’re just criticizing us to be mean, in much the same way that I always got bad grades in school because the teachers didn’t like me. And my boyfriend left me because he’s a jerk, not because of anything I did.
Didn’t you know? You’re supposed to get a man’s permission to express your opinion! That’s clearly what their point is!
For fun, I ran this stupid website through the regendering software and came up with the following very telling quote:
riverrun, past Eve’s and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.
It was then that I realized I had accidentally run it through the Finnegan’s Wake software. I made sure to run it through the actual regendering program and came up with this quote:
The former Nine O’Clock News presenter told the Radio Times: “Life is lived in accordance with men’s rules” and women are now merely “sperm donors”.
Oh hell no. As you can see, by regendering their website, we have revealed that they apparently believe women can donate sperm. They’re fucking stupid. If this quote doesn’t prove that it’s a man’s world, I don’t know what does.