Ban Patriachal Pregnancy NOW!

I have just realized something that is utterly shocking, scary, and makes me want to kill. Kill men. Make that kill all da white men. Kill some latino men too, I guess, and some Asian men. On second thought, I think we need to kill all penis carriers.

As if all the violence against women in this country is not enough, science is progressing at such a rate that maybe women won’t be needed at all. Sisters, if you thought we had successfully infiltrated science in order to remove all logic and rationality from it so that it served only us, you might be wrong. I’m not totally sure of this yet, but something truly frightening occurred to me. Now, I have a headache and I’m not even trying to avoid sex with my stupid boyfriend.

You see, I put one plus one together and came up with two. Yes, yes … of course that is supposed to be three, but this time it added up to two!! I pray to Goddess that this is not true. Let me explain:

OK, first remember how we were all so excited about the artificial wombs that scientists are developing? (The complicated and hard to spell and remember word for artificial wombs is ectogenesis). These wombs could allow us to carry a baby naturally but without having our bodies savaged. The patriarchy wants our bodies to be savaged and destroyed while carrying their nasty little babies; traditional pregnancy is just another form of oppression. We thought that with these artificial wombs combined with cloning, we could have our babies on our own, or in wholesome lesbian couples and communes, and never have a need for patriarchal, penis carrying sperm factories again. Right?

Well, think again, sisters. Then I was reading one of those pseudo progressive city papers that pretend to care about the same causes we do, but then run ads for prostitutes. On the back of this paper, there were ads from fertility clinics offering to buy eggs from women!

(What woman would sell their eggs anyway? We need them so we can get pregnant because without our ability to get pregnant how can we generate hysteria about abortion rights? Plus, we need to have some children naturally of men because we need to make them pay child support! How can we live without tax-free child support?!)

Now, here is the first “one”: A man can use an artificial womb too. That’s right! There is no reason he can’t.

Here is the other “one”: This man could buy an egg from a fertility clinic! He could even shop for it, comparing pictures and features of women, just like he is shopping for a car.

Now, put those together and you get “two.” A man can have children without having one of us around to provide the egg and the womb. He doesn’t even have to wait for cloning! Or, maybe he is ugly and doesn’t want to be cloned! He could have a child using the egg of a beautiful woman! That means he won’t be buying any of our eggs!

As if that is not bad enough, think about this: Men could essentially loose all need for women like us. They could simply do deals with reasonable and attractive women. They could even only buy eggs from third world countries. We would not be able to use our vagina, our womb, and our eggs to trap a man into a life of hell. The sisterhood of feminists might actually die out!

Sisters, we must start complaining. We must not let this happen. The first step is to elect Hillary Rodham so that she can ban all importation of donor eggs. The second step is to ban all male use of ectogenesis.

When used by males, ectogenesis is another word for “violence against women.” We already have the Violence Against Women Act, so we can use it to ban patriarchal propagation through artificial wombs.

And, if all of that does not work, we must stop the violence by killing all of the penis carriers. It might be time for the Final Solution.